people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
