Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
