Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
