You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm eating all of the evidence.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
