my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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