Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
