9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
