Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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