There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize