So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
