I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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