Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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