The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
