Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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