So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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