Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
