i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
