North Korea, Best Korea!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
