Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im six kinds of drunk right now
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
