Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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