In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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