This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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