Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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