someone get that fucking seahorse.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
