So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
