Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

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  (404): I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period http://tfl.nu/z8bc
  Replies (17) Good night (950) Bad night (3273)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle

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  (330): oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle http://tfl.nu/fluw
  Replies (27) Good night (4311) Bad night (777)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

  (216): View more from Ohio

  did she say where she was going

  (740): View more from Ohio

  apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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  (740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j
  Replies (45) Good night (3767) Bad night (736)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.

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  (573): I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze. http://tfl.nu/2uw1
  Replies (17) Good night (3521) Bad night (975)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.

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  (316): Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth. http://tfl.nu/ew3b
  Replies (8) Good night (1030) Bad night (3461)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.

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  (563): For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in. http://tfl.nu/kbab
  Replies (12) Good night (2610) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Her vagina devoured it.

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  (850): What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"? (1-850): Her vagina devoured it. http://tfl.nu/yu5p
  Replies (8) Good night (5093) Bad night (1183)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
  Replies (2) Good night (3043) Bad night (883)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you

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  (262): he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you http://tfl.nu/6gzr
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (2350)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.

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  (613): I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable. http://tfl.nu/pwwk
  Replies (15) Good night (2316) Bad night (1103)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.

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  (928): His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart. http://tfl.nu/4aul
  Replies (7) Good night (606) Bad night (2457)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house

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  (573): i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house http://tfl.nu/7ii5
  Replies (3) Good night (1649) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.

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  (562): Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester. http://tfl.nu/c099
  Replies (3) Good night (1604) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So how was your night?

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  (231): Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob. (703): So how was your night? http://tfl.nu/0nrk
  Replies (4) Good night (1711) Bad night (474)
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  (714): View more from California

  You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!

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  (714): You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue! http://tfl.nu/dw09
  Replies (5) Good night (1604) Bad night (650)

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