i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.