Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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