I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
