we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
