Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
As shirtless as possible
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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