I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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