Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
