i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
