ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
