Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
