Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found puke in my bra..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
