I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
