Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
