careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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