Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
