Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
