Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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