How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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