I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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