You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
