Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
