I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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