I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
