I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
