I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
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