so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
