Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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