That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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