when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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