i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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