I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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