Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
