this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
