3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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