Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize