She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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